Liz Murray: Appraisal and Emotion

Liz looked at her dad when she was sent to the group house. 

Liz Murray left me the impression that a deep sadness surrounded her in the movie’s first half. When she was forced to go to a group home, she said, “Figure out my life? Do people do that when they are falling into a big dark hole?” At that time, her mother left her and went to her grandfather’s apartment, and her father showed no care to her. Liz was forced to go to a group home, and she knew children there bullied each other, laughed at each other, and she described it as a crazy house. She mentioned that she was falling into a big dark hole, which shows that she had no ability to save herself, and nobody was there to save her. She could not do anything.

When Liz became homeless, she said, “My mother is dying, my dad is gone, but I had to believe there were roads that would rise up for me.” From these words, I felt sadness, fear, and a feeling of no choice to choose from because there were no roads for her. She could not rely on anyone else but herself. Her father did not care about her, her grandfather did not like her, and she still needed to take care of her mother. Life had put such a burden on her, and she could hardly walk by that burden. All she could do was to hope that there must have other ways and that hope could bring some sweetness to her life.

Liz's last second with her mother

        Liz went to her mother’s funeral and realized that low-income families did not even have a coffin and tombstone for the dead person. Especially that person was the one she loved the most, she was angry but had no choice. She was mad that her mother’s name was spelled wrong on the box, and the person used “it” to describe her mother. After everybody left, she looked at the sky and thought, “Sometimes I feel like there is a skin on the world, and those of us who were born under it, can see through it. We just can’t get through it.” Liz was desperate and thought that she was separated from the good side of the world. She was surrounded by sadness and thought there was nothing she could do to help her.

After Liz knew she got the scholarship

All the things that happened in the movie’s first half seemed all bad things for Liz, and I hardly noticed she smiled except when she met her friend Chris. Her experiences of the crazy home, her parents’ no care, her grandfather’s dislike, her classmates’ separation, as Liz’s first appraisal, all brought the feeling of sadness to Liz. However, things changed after Liz decided to go back to high school and attend college. She said, “There is a world that is better; I wanna live in it.” She worked hard, and when she got first place in her grade, she said, “I thought I’ve been trash.” She was surprised and joyful because she saw her efforts made achievements. One success encouraged her to continue working hard, and finally, she got the New York Times Scholarship and went to Harvard. In her interview, she mentioned that because she was raised that way and her parents brought her the chance to see how the tiny things worked together to make the final product. Therefore, I think this is Liz’s second appraisal because she was not considering those experiences as bad experiences anymore; instead, she thought her past experiences had formed what she was and her achievements. Therefore, she was released by the burden and held the emotion of gratitude for her experiences.